How to Make Boat Decking

· 363 Words

How to make boat decking in 11 easy but detailed steps.

1 : Find a load of scrap timber. Put in on the roof and pace up and down a bit.

It is crucial that you stay away from the edges whilst pacing if there is someone else on board.

2 : Remark upon the awkward disposition of the nails.

It is important to spare a thought for the craftsman who came before you.

3 : Set about removing the nails

After due consideration, begin your task. Remember to use the appropriate tool for the job. Screwdriver for screws, pilers for small nails, lump hammer for driving nails back through, axe if none of the above succeeds.

4 : Curse the makers of nails and screws and nails in all their infinite variety (the makers and the screws and nails)

Diversity is a fact of life, but there is a time and a place.

5 : Wonder what kind of bloody fool would actually do this

In many ways the person who worked this wood before you is your colleague, distant only in time. Wonder what he was on.

6 : Wonder what the value of metal would be on the open scrap market. Again, curse the person who put all of these pieces of metal into those pieces of wood.

Whilst you’re at it, give thanks that the edifice that once these nails held together is no longer standing, waiting to fall down.

7 : Admire the newly de-ferrified wood. Admit that you’re no closer, in real terms, to having decking.

There’s nothing quite as satisfying as a job well done. It hasn’t been done yet, however.

8 : Cut, sand and chop.

Remember: measure in haste, cut at leisure.

9 : Build the decking

We’re here to do a job.

10 : Don’t stop until it’s finished. Beautiful decking the envy of your neighbours is close.

You will soon be the owner of decking that will turn heads and sink ships.

11 : Cover up as quickly as possible.

With an attractive member of the opposite sex if one is to hand.

(12, optional) : test with an inaugural cruise


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