Boat on Joe's Blog

Dry Land

Sat, 06 Apr 2019 21:30:00 +0000

This is the ninth of the eight boat stories, and quite possibly the last.

“May the road rise up to meet you”, goes the saying.

In eight years I spent living on a boat, the water did rise up to meet me quite suddenly once or twice: one minute ‘down there’ and the next ‘rushing up to meet me at speed’. On other occasions, during floods, it rose slowly, deliberately, made its point and then ebbed away.

Guyana

Sat, 06 Apr 2019 21:00:00 +0000

This is the eighth, and penultimate, of the eight boat stories.

My first boat, Dawn, arrived with a Lister LR2 diesel engine. When I bought her, the boat was about 20 years old, but the engine was double that. What lives, I wondered, had the engine had before it ended up in a boat?

It wasn’t a terribly long after that that my father laid his hands on a very slightly better engine, a Lister SR2, and convinced me that it would be in my interests to swap engines. The Great Engine Swap ensued. And you can read about it here, here and here.

Wot? No Diesel?

Sat, 06 Apr 2019 20:00:00 +0000

This is the seventh of the eight boat stories.

Canal boats aren’t quiet. They may seem that way from a distance, but, when underway, the captain is often unable to hear the first mate over the sound of the engine. Important communications, such as offers of cups of tea often go unheard. At least, that’s the most generous interpretation of the occasional lack of tea. (One mustn’t take a cynical approach to boating; that way lies bow thrusters).

Icebergs

Sat, 06 Apr 2019 19:00:00 +0000

This is the sixth of the eight boat stories.

Boats are akin to swans. Which is to say that they’re like icebergs. Whatever their appearance, there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface than you’d think. On an afternoon stroll down the river, one might spot one or more boats, swans and / or icebergs. And unless someone’s having a really bad day, you probably won’t see what lies beneath any of them.

Balti Express and other Imaginary Boats

Sun, 06 Jan 2019 00:00:00 +0000

This is the fifth of the eight boat stories.

People get funny ideas when it comes to naming boats. After all, our boat is called Monstronauticus and it’s virtually the only name that my wife and I could agree on. Our son happily avoided a similar fate.

Who can explain it

The phenomenon can be explained by good old British bureaucracy. Like cars, every boat must be registered and licensed. On the canals they chose a numbering system. On the Thames, where numbers are impersonal and insufficiently poetic, the name is the numberplate. I was allowed to keep my first boat’s name when I brought her onto the river, but was warned that I might have to change if a pre-existent ‘Dawn’ came to light.

Going in

Mon, 31 Dec 2018 00:00:00 +0000

This is the fourth of the eight boat stories.

Experts agree: the best way to learn something in depth is immersion. Whether you’re trying to pick up a new language or learn a new skill like boating: in at the deep end, you’ll be the wiser for it.

Many boaters will say that you’re not a real boater unless you’ve fallen in ’the cut’. ‘The cut’ refers to the canal, which is usually only a couple of feet deep, rendering the point about depth moot. Rivers are another beast altogether.

What's that sound?

Sun, 30 Dec 2018 00:00:00 +0000

This is the third of the eight boat stories.

I spent the first week aboard my floating home-to-be surrounded by the sounds of nature trampled underfoot by the chugging of the diesel engine, the wail of tungsten carbide disc on steel, underscored by a whirring petrol generator. Though nature is famously noisy, that week definitely represented the triumph of industry over environment.

That is not to say that the soundscape was entirely unsubtle. We spent happy hours gliding through canals, the gentle rippling of the water as it bubbled and folded round the stern. Even in these quiet moments we were not entirely alone with nature. The occasional scrape as we glid over submerged shopping trolleys reminded us that we were cruising man-made waters excavated, then filled, by hand.

Hoisting the flag

Sun, 18 Nov 2018 00:00:00 +0000

This is the second of the eight boat stories.

Whatever happened to that Lister LR2 engine that valiantly got us from Staffordshire to Oxford on only one cylinder? That was hoisted out and replaced with a model with only marginally higher horsepower?

It sat in my father’s shed for years. That is, until I met someone that I knew I wanted to spend my life with. And not all that long after we got to know each other I started to hatch a plan.

Eight Boat Stories

Sat, 17 Nov 2018 00:00:00 +0000

November, fast unfolding as I speak, marks eight years since I stepped onto a boat and called it home. Boat-buying typically starts in summer, when all is bright, exciting and verdant (if you’re lucky). Like house-buying, it can take ages. There’s an array of things to fix: Surveys, licenses, insurance and, in my case, an engine. I’m not the first to move in just as a brutal winter descends.

Like an ever rolling stream

Writing it down, eight years doesn’t seem like all that much. But in that time I’ve had three jobs, three engines, two boats, one wife and a child. I haven’t counted precisely how many days it’s been so far, but I have convinced myself to sleep in a steel box floating in oft perilous water thousands of times. In years to come I will look back on this time and there will be stories to tell. And what stories!

Listers never break

Sat, 17 Nov 2018 00:00:00 +0000

This is the first of the eight boat stories. There will be more to come, including more engine excitement.

After much searching, I found the boat that I wished to call home. Dawn, for it was she, was moored in Staffordshire. My father and I both booked precious time off work and, after testing the suspension and kicking the tyres, we set off for the week-long journey. Destination: Oxford.

We planned a journey that took us along the Shropshire Union Canal, Grand Union and Oxford canals. There were probably others (it gets a bit complicated round Birmingham). On our journey we passed through tunnels, diversions, and lots of locks.

New boat. Part two.

Wed, 23 Jul 2014 09:43:40 +0000

I am overwhelmed by all this. On Monday our new home was craned in. Words to follow, but for now pictures will have to do.

The New Boat. Part One.

Fri, 02 May 2014 16:40:57 +0000

People do boat-build blogs. Breathlessly they document the progress of their build, keeping everyone up-to-date with up-to-the-minute information about how it’s all going. I am breathless about my new boat. I want to document the progress of the build and keep everyone up-to-date. I have a blog. It’s a very exciting event in life and I want to share it with my friends and family. But it’s also something I’ve never done before, not remotely, and, whilst I’ve been in good hands, there are so many horror stories out there that I didn’t want to tempt fate.

Getting to work in the 2014 Oxford floods

Tue, 07 Jan 2014 12:03:39 +0000

Flood water waist deep. Bit of a challenge getting out. Thames towpath below Oxford flooded knee-deep in places, just breaching at Donnington bridge. Someone in the University College boathouse shouted that I should be careful of sharks.

Hot

Fri, 19 Jul 2013 07:15:32 +0000

Last night I dealt with the heat the only way I know how.

Thursday: Gas Mission.

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 13:26:44 +0000

Abingdon road still under a bit of water, but it’s now receding. I ran out of gas, which means no tea and no hot water. So I went on a gas mission.

Tuesday: Floods reach Abingdon Road

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 17:50:55 +0000

Today, Tuesday. Deepest yet; getting out of my boat I was plunged waist-deep. The river is bringing it to the residents of Abingdon Road. A lunchtime stroll.

Street deserted of cars. Very quiet.

Oxford Flooding: The Cold Light of Monday

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 14:48:08 +0000

A short lunchtime stroll on Monday after a weekend of flooding. The water is still rising and becoming worryingly strong in places (both in the river and across footpaths thigh-deep).

BETTER DROWNED THAN DUFFERS

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 11:24:33 +0000

Give me a cup of tea and a dressing gown and I’m made. Who cares if it’s flooding up to my thighs.

Flooding in Oxford

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 09:33:24 +0000

I came home last night and was just about able to make it in wellington boots on tip-toe. Come 1am my landing stage was covered. Up at 7am to check things over and have a stroll. It came up almost to my waist in places. I wouldn’t drink this stuff.

Putting the Engine Back : video

Sun, 14 Oct 2012 13:10:40 +0000

I posted some pictures about the removal of the old engine but never got round to its replacement. Time to correct that. The old Lister LR2 was replaced with and older SR2.

Birthday Shinbash

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 17:17:45 +0000

A few shaky photos from a magnificent 18 hour birthday stint.

Blacking Up (Part Two)

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 21:39:51 +0000

After Dawn’s slipping out, she was power-washed and given a new coat of bitumen. All the way up to the gunwales. Very smart. Especially compared to her prior grubby state. As on Friday, the slipping back into the water happened before work!

Blacking up (Part 1)

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 12:11:00 +0000

Last night I got a call out of the blue from Jon Ody asking if I wanted my boat Dawn’s hull blacking. It’s something that needs to be done every couple of years and I was starting to think about it anyway. The catch: it had to be done tomorrow morning and he needed a decision promptly, as he had a free slot in the boatyard. It didn’t help that it would make me homeless for the weekend. After some umming and aahing I said yes.

Modified external lamp

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 11:13:07 +0000

I picked up an outside light, the kind that you plug in and stick in your lawn, going cheap at B&Q. Although it said it had blue LEDs (I’ve never claimed to have much style but anything with blue LEDs in it is an unforgivable faux-pas) I had a roll of white LEDs at home. It was a nice sealed unit (no IP rating but it looked solid enough) which I thought would come in handy for stickig on the outside of my boat and shining at things.

Mapping Live River Conditions on the Thames

Sat, 23 Jun 2012 10:00:12 +0000

I love going out on my boat and I do it as often as I possibly can. Unfortunately the recent rain has meant that I’ve been unable to as often as I’d like. If the current is too fast, it’s not sensible or safe to do it.

The Environment Agency has an excellent site which gives live information. But I wanted to put it on a map. Cue an evening of hunting down coordinates of every lock on the non-tidal thames (Google data is surprisingly bad) and writing an app to take data out of the online service and put it on a map. It’s fun putting things on maps.

Graffiti Tribute to Hussain Mohammed

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 12:53:36 +0000

I live not far from the spot where Hussein Mohammed jumped in the Thames and drowned. Local youths have spray-painted their tributes in the underside of the bridge. Touching.

Grime and paint. : pictures

Sun, 13 May 2012 19:47:43 +0000

In the week after the engine came out, I was left with access to my bilges. These are usually hidden away behind an unmovable wooden wall, with access blocked by the engine. As far as I can tell these had not seen the light of day for two decades (my boat was built in 1993 and there are no signs of the engine having been out since then). It appears that they weren’t even painted, or if they were, there’s no paint left.

I was appalled at the state of them, frankly. The rust was thick, and not in a good way. My boat is my home, as well as my boat, and the sign of that much rust really wasn’t a very comforting thought.

The Great Engine Hoist : pictures

Sun, 13 May 2012 19:35:44 +0000

I come from an engineering family. I know no-one who enjoys playing with engines more than my father. Within days of me buying a boat he had opened up the engine and taken the cylinders off to re-fit the piston rings. Admittedly, the reason he did this is that the engine had failed and we were stranded thirty miles outside Oxford with an immobile boat. But I have a feeling it would have happened anyway sooner or later.

First Torchbox Cruise of the Season

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 20:20:06 +0000

My first cruise of the 2012, the first Torchbox cruise of 2012 and the first outing for the new decking.

A snowy journey to work

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:32:21 +0000

I’m not normally given to taking photos of my commute, but in the case of the snow I made an exception.

A polecat comes to visit.

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:09:37 +0000

I put my rubbish out on the deck last night. Today I heard a rustling and looked out to see a polecat had come aboard, unbidden, and nicked some pasty packaging.

For those unsure what a polecat is, wikipedia defines it thus:

A polecat is an animal.

Here is a video of the encounter. I can see why they named this animal ‘polecat’. It’s a bit like a pole and a bit like a cat.

Old sailor's trick: Turning safety matches into strike anywhere matches.

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:09:25 +0000

There’s an old sailor’s trick that comes in useful when on the high seas, when stuck with safety matches and no box to strike them on. They can be turned into strike-anywhere matches with the use of a hot stove. This also helps pass the time on the long unending days when the ship is becalmed at sea.

Gloves were used because it wasn’t physically possible to get my hand that close.

Opening a can on a boat

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 01:31:04 +0000

The thing about living on a boat is that there is more than likely a hatchet to hand.

Which means that if you come home from the shops with a can and realise that you have no can opener, you can puncture holes in the lid.

Using the hatchet

… and get at the insides.

Try doing that in a house. I dare you.

Cooking with Wood

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:25:22 +0000

After success with a pizza, I’ve decided to try cooking in my wood burning stove. Little steps. Today I tried melting some cheese over some gnocchi.

A good start. If I’m honest, this wasn’t anything more than melting some cheese. Next time I might actually cook something. And that’s pepper not ash in the last photo.

Boat from Home

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 21:44:37 +0000

Like most, I grew up in a house. These perform a number of functions. A safe place to sleep, eat and raise a family come fairly high in the list, as do entertaining guests and storing things. The house doesn’t undergo any substantial change in order to fulfil these different functions. It largely stays put. In effort to impress the guests you might re-arrange the furniture, clean the windows or hide the cat. The prime change is in the disposition of the house dweller, who changes their mental state in order to fulfill the task of getting through another day, feeding the children again or keeping the guests entertained until it’s time for them to go home.

Today I Have Been Mostly Chopping Wood

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:04:44 +0000

Today I chanced upon some logs. So I took them home…

… and went at them with a hatchet…

I reckon that’s a few weeks’ worth of warm evenings some time around winter 2012.

Some people are worrying about the cost of heating their homes. I’m out scouting for wood.

Any woodologists able to identify what this might be and if it’ll burn obligingly? Failing that, practising xylologists?